Dead Confederates, A Civil War Era Blog

The Lost Texts of Gettysburg

Posted in Memory by Andy Hall on November 14, 2013

I meant to post this back in July, when user Shadow9216 over at CWT put up a series of posts (in sesquicentennial real-time!) of long-lost text-messages sent between military commanders during the Battle of Gettysburg. You can read the series here. Here’s the chatter between the Confederate high command on the evening of July 1:

Blank

 BobLee: : -)
 Longstrt: srsly tho, how U fight in morning?
 BobLee: dunno, but best men scouting now
 Longstrt: Stuart back? Didn't kno that...
 BobLee: Not Stuart.
 Longstrt: cuz U sed best so I guess that wuz Stuart
 BobLee: Give it a rest dude
 Longstrt: U shud like totes courtmartial his srry @zz

Blank

 BobLee: ZZZZ
 Longstrt: fine do wat u want. Picketts here
 Longstrt: later boss dude.
 BobLee: l8r P33T. C U in morning.

Blank

 Salliesboy1863: PICKETT IN DA HOUSE!
 Salliesboy1863: Rollin up w/my boyz from viginia
 Lo: There's an R george.
 Salliesboy1863: do wut now?
 Lo: There's an R in Virginia
 Salliesboy1863: wut-evr dude. thats why i hav U.
 Lo: um hmm. btw, salliesboy1863= srsly lame
 jimkemper_spkr.va: srsly Lo, U tell him
 Salliesboy1863: riiiiight Jim URs is soooo better
 fremantle_a_mil.uk: I say what is the proper format for
 fremantle_a_mil.uk: one who wishes to have a decent, that is
 fremantle_a_mil.uk: an acceptable means of identifying oneself
 fremantle_a_mil.uk: on these devices?
 Salliesboy1863: OMFG!
 Lo: dude, R U ever a n00b!
 jimkemper_spkr.va: WTF? Who brought in this l00zr?
 Longstrt: dudes, chillax. he's a bro from the UK aight?
 BobLee: anyone seen my cavalry?
Blank
That’s great stuff, right there.
__________
GeneralStarsGray
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12 Responses

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  1. Bob Nelson said, on November 14, 2013 at 9:54 pm

    Very, very funny. You know, Andy, so much of this CW stuff is so damn serious. Or maybe it’s just that we make it serious. But it’s nice to have a good laugh once in a while. Thanks.

  2. SF Walker said, on November 15, 2013 at 10:35 am

    This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time–I’m going to check out the whole series now!

    • Andy Hall said, on November 15, 2013 at 10:44 am

      The “Real Confederate Housewives” is a scream.

      • SF Walker said, on November 15, 2013 at 11:25 am

        I was just looking at that! Looks like the webpage is brand new; I’ve already favorited it–there’s sure to be more good stuff to come. Thanks for posting this, Andy, my sides are hurting now but it’s a good kind of hurt!

  3. BorderRuffian said, on November 15, 2013 at 10:59 am

    This and no review of 12 Years a Slave?…

    • Andy Hall said, on November 15, 2013 at 11:09 am

      Haven’t seen it yet. May or may not write about it then.

  4. H. E. Parmer said, on November 16, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    jimkemper_spkr.va: i feel fine. I dont want to go on the cart.

    Thanks, Andy. I needed that.

    Effin’ brilliant. As were the other posts on that site. I hope there will be more to follow.

  5. Rob Baker said, on November 18, 2013 at 7:56 pm

    Salliesboy! LMAO!

    • Andy Hall said, on November 19, 2013 at 11:37 am

      About a year ago we (the Battle of Galveston Sesqui Committee) toyed with the idea of doing a series of trash-talking tweets between Magruder and Renshaw, leading up the battle. It didn’t come off for a variety of reasons, but it still seems like a fun idea.

  6. Reed (the original, accept no substitutes) said, on November 19, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    And of course, there was that other attempt at concise communication at Gettysburg, 1863:

    http://norvig.com/Gettysburg/index.htm

    It’s been around for a while, but seems appropriate for the day. Be sure to “Click here to start” or download the PPT presentation itself.

    • Bob Nelson said, on November 20, 2013 at 3:14 pm

      Very, very funny, especially AL’s introduction, thanking Wills, etc. Last week, I went to a RT in Zeeland (MI) and the program was delayed for about 30 minutes while they got the Power Point presentation working. Seems the professor from Michigan State had created it on a MAC and the equipment in the room would only work with Windows. Dr. Rosentretter was saying such as, “I’ve never had this problem before.” 3 or 4 members are trying to “help,” make suggestions, “try this,” etc. Finally, I suggested to one of them that they go find one of the librarians (the meeting was in the library) and that I bet she could figure it out in about 3 minutes. Actually it took her 5 (she had to go find the correct adapter). I know, I know — no CW content. LOL

  7. jfepperson said, on November 21, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    My daughter is a fan of the “Real Housewives …” shows, and when I posted a link to that on Facebook, she was beside herself with giggles!


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