Dead Confederates, A Civil War Era Blog

Texas Revises K-12 Textbooks: Slaves Were “Unpaid Interns”

Posted in Education by Andy Hall on August 15, 2013

You knew this was coming sooner or later:


DALLAS — The Texas Board of Education has drawn scrutiny in recent years for its efforts to revise its curriculum to favor more conservative-friendly versions of history and science. After revising textbooks last year to emphasize Christian influences on the Founding Fathers and introduce Intelligent Design to biology classes, the Board voted nine to zero today to change official nomenclature regarding slavery. In Texas, students will now be taught that slaves were not kidnapped and exploited against their will, but were actually “unpaid interns.”
“While African workers were not compensated monetarily,” the new curriculum guidelines acknowledge, “by working outside picking cotton, they gained valuable career experience and were provided with ample networking opportunities.”


Yes, it’s satire. But just barely.



15 Responses

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  1. Andy Hall said, on August 15, 2013 at 5:12 pm

    Yes, it’s satire. But just barely.

    • M.D. Blough said, on August 15, 2013 at 5:26 pm

      That’s what’s scary, Andy. I had to check the source of the article to determine it’s a satirical site. It’s not that far from the argument that I have seen made, in all seriousness, that (after making the usual rote acknowledgements of the wrongs of slavery), nevertheless it was doing the kidnapped Africans a favor by exposing them to Western culture, especially Christianity. Of course, as the 19th century Europeans found, with colonial expansion and missionaries, one didn’t need to kidnap any Africans to another continent to impose that on Africans.

  2. buymelunch said, on August 15, 2013 at 5:17 pm

    Reblogged this on BuyMeLunch and commented:
    Let’s rewrite the bible next. That sounds like a great idea as well, right!?

  3. Rob Baker said, on August 15, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    While reading this I automatically thought, ‘yea, I could see this happening.’

  4. Rob Baker said, on August 15, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    I highly recommend this

  5. theravenspoke said, on August 15, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    Charlie Schuster, a three-term board member from Dallas, introduced the motion. For the incredulous Schuster, the idea that the Founding Fathers were involved in a system of owning fellow humans simply was too much to believe. “Either the Founding Fathers were divinely-inspired statesmen,” said Schuster, “or they endorsed slavery. That’s a pretty glaring contradiction. So obviously slavery didn’t exist.”

    Andy, that’s hilarious!

    You found the next Onion.


    That’s not real news. It can’t be. No conscious, breathing person could say that, especially someone sitting on the school board of a major American city. I mean, not even the Taliban says stuff that stupid.

    • Andy Hall said, on August 15, 2013 at 6:20 pm

      Whoever wrote that gets bonus points for citing David Barton.

      • theravenspoke said, on August 15, 2013 at 6:35 pm

        You know the southern states are locked in a war of Stupid Oneupmanship. Arizona has the only uneducated governor in America. Florida stands its ground while defunding luxuries like public health. Tennessee has Marsha Blackburn (‘educated’ at the University of Mississippi). South Carolina is full of people who boo’ed a serving member of the armed forces for being gay (on national television, ‘natch). Louisiana’s governor legislates through creationism. Racism is 16-times more prevalent in Alabama & Mississippi than in the northeast (Pennsylvania excepted). But even in Texas’ big arsenal, which features Louie Gohmert and a homeless alcoholic, Barton is something special. A grifter so disdainful of facts that his religious publisher pulled his last book from distribution. If his crap is too much for a Bible publisher, it must be seriously loopy.

        • Oldsouth said, on October 30, 2013 at 11:03 am

          If you hate the south so much why don’t you lead a movement to kick us out of the US? Would that not solve all the problems in the US by not having us nasty ole Southorns in your glourious Union.

          • Andy Hall said, on October 30, 2013 at 11:16 am

            The Raven doesn’t need to lead a movement; there already is one. They have stickers.

            • Old Reb said, on October 30, 2013 at 5:37 pm

              Mr. Hall
              I respect your blog although I disagree with a good part of your arguments, at least the ones I have read you have been civil. I do not understand the hate some people have for the South, we have our warts and bad manners but we do not have a monopoly on warts or bad manners. The TEA party congressmen are doing what we elected them to do just as the other side is doing what their folks elected them to do. I don’t enjoy the company of folks from New Jersey but I don’t speak ill of them. Why would THERAVENSPOKE be so inclined to spew hatred toward usd? id he get a bad helping of collars greens one time in Mississippi? If he did I truly apologize.


  6. Bob Huddleston said, on August 15, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    This is why The Onion is in trouble: how can they write anything crazier than this!

    Take care,


    “The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.” —Mark Twain

    • H. E. Parmer said, on August 16, 2013 at 1:15 pm

      Tom Lehrer declared political satire dead on the day Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

      I don’t think it’s quite dead yet, but the lead time between satire and reality certainly seems to get shorter with each passing year.

  7. Reece Corleone said, on October 2, 2014 at 11:30 am afrikans just left being kings and queens and thousands of acres of land to come here willingly to farm for free

    • Andy Hall said, on October 2, 2014 at 11:40 am

      Go back and read the post. It’s satire.

      Having said that, though, we have lots of pols here who say (and apparently believe) stuff almost as dumb and offensive as that.

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